Creating space

It's still a new year, but it is going fast. Usually in the Pacific Northwest winter takes our sun at about 4:30 at night, but today at 5:15 it was still relatively light, the sun slowly sinking below the horizon. I am feeling like spring will be here just around the corner and I'm not quite ready for it! I have taken on three new challenges so far, along with daily life. I am creating a new me, a new home, and new changes for the greater good of our planet.

One small change is still underway. I am doing okay with the travel mug for all my coffee drinks. I have slipped with remembering bags at grocery stores and thrift stores. Perhaps I took on too much with wanting to develop two new habits in 30 days. But I am really proud of myself with the travel mug! One day I really wanted a coffee drink prior to picking my daughter up from preschool. I was returning books at our local library, took my coffee mug into the bathroom and cleaned it off, returned my books, and then proceeded to the coffee stand (a really yummy "green" coffee stand.) I couldn't help but to smile at myself. I found a way to get my coffee and not use a disposable (although theirs are compostable) coffee cup! If only I could remember to have spare cloth bags at all times with me in case of thrift store or yarn store emergencies!

My next new challenge is a wonderful and amazing e-course offered through freespiritknits.blogspot.com/
It is called "Inside Out" and involves thought provoking questions to journal about, yoga, and guided meditation and an incredible group of women to journey along with. This has come at such a perfect time in my life. 40 this year and wanting this to be my decade at last! I want this one to be great, not good, but GREAT. This course will be the stimulus for so many of the changes I want to make. It is already got me thinking and planning and plotting to make my life better. Thank you Shannon! I have just found you and I already love what you have brought to my life through your course!

My last challenge is also due to Shannon. She challenges us and herself to reduce clutter and create space. Oh How I NEED SPACE and less clutter. This is coinciding with her e-course as the journaling aspect of the course has really made me see what is not working in my life. Not being able to find a clear space or clear time that is just mine, to write, to create, to just be, to still all the voices in my head. I don't have enough space for either. I have too much stuff, too much clutter. I have already filled my car with items for a Goodwill trip. I am looking at my kitchen, my bedroom, my living room, and asking myself "Why am I keeping this? What does it add to my life?" If I can't think of a great answer, into the Goodwill box it goes. I have to make those hard decisions. My life as is isn't working. I am constantly rearranging stuff, finding room for stuff, getting really irked at stuff. That isn't life. That isn't what I want.

I want to just be. I want to be mindful. I want to be present with myself, my husband, my daughter. I want to open the door to my home and be home and be able to breathe and not come in, going arg...look at how much stuff I still have to deal with.

It feels like a lot to take on. It is. But it is good. All of it is creating space for what matters. It will free me in so many ways. I can be. I can just be. I can create and love and make a difference, for myself, for my family, and for others.

One small change

A couple of blogs I follow from friends and fellow UUs have directed me to attempt One Small Change This is coming at a perfect time. I started a spiral notebook on New Year's Eve with crazy and not so crazy ideas of what I want and wish for in 2010. I am in the midst of a new month, new year, new decade-both globally and personally as I just turned 40, and love the idea of newness and change and being a better person. Now I just need to figure out what I want to do. I think I want to tackle two small changes in once. First is to always bring a bag to the grocery store, yarn store, thrift store, etc. This will be both easy and a challenge. I love going thrifting as I love trying to find something used and give it more life rather than buying new. But I don't bring bags to Goodwill. Now I need to try to find a way to bring a bag or just carry stuff out without bags. The second change is to always bring a travel cup when buying coffee or tea at a local coffee shop. Today I have my new travel mug and am using it while working on my writing. Let's hope I can keep this up for another month. Plus get my hubby on board! I wish me and all those wishing to make one small change lots of luck! Check in a month to see how it went!

She has the magic of Santa Clause

I debated for weeks whether to let my daughter "have" Santa Claus. I know how commerical and materialistic this time of year and this particular holiday has become. I see the Christmas decorations in the store along side Halloween decorations in early October. It is too early. It bothers me. It makes me sad. I don't want my daughter caught up in that world-that holiday. I check out books from the library on St. Nicholas, on solistice, on how we came to have our version of Santa Claus. I am overwhelmed. I am trying to tell my 3 1/2 year old...well there was this man and he did great things and the current version is kind of based on him. She asks me what to believe and I ask her what does she think, what does she believe? I don't know what to think Mommy, that's why I'm asking you. OH....

I read a book about simplifying life for my daughter. It's wonderful and I'm only about ten pages into it. But basically a point is driven home. We are introducing adult fears and stresses into children's lives way before they can or should handle them. We are creating anxiety for them. We are robbing our children of the magic of childhood. BINGO...

She gets Santa Claus. I told my husband we will be honest when she asks us what we believe. Today I was. Mommy do you believe there is a Santa Claus? In a way yes, I tell her. I believed when I was a child and was excited about Christmas morning and what presents I'd have and leaving cookies for hinm on Christmas Eve. What presents did you get as a child? She asked and it made me think and I had great fun remembering or trying to remember and tell her about my childhood toys. I also tell her that although now I know my Mum and Dad used to buy me the presents, I still believe in the idea and spirit of Santa Claus. The idea of surprising a loved one with a gift, just because you love them and love to see their faces light up with opening up a gift. I love the idea that people this time of year give to others in need, in want, or simply just because. I love all of that.

I love Christmas and making homemade cookies and crafts and gifts for my family. This I am also giving my daughter. She helped me today make handmade coasters and tree ornaments. They were simple, but they were fun and we did them together. Nothing commercial; nothing consumeristic. But in the true spirit of giving of the heart; the magic of the season.

My daughter has been giving the gift of magic. She has the magic of Santa Claus and I am so glad we decided to let her have it. She has been so fun asking for us to leave Santa three cookies along with milk. Plus she is always asking "Why does Santa burn his butt?" (when he comes down the chimney.) This young child with such a beautiful and vivid imagination has given me back the magic of Christmas and Santa Claus as well. It is truly a blessing and a gift from the heart. We gave her Santa; she has given us so much more.

A great challenge for the New Year!

This is a great challenge for the new year and everyone should do this! How fun! Nothing to lose and everything to gain! Go out and support your local library and have fun in the process! I signed up! You should, too!

Here are the details from J. Kaye's Book Blog

The 2010 Support Your Local Library Reading Challenge

1. Anyone can join. You don't need a blog to participate.

2. There are four levels:

--The Mini – Check out and read 25 library books.

--Just My Size – Check out and read 50 library books.

--Stepping It Up – Check out and read 75 library books.

--Super Size Me – Check out and read 100 library books.

(Aim high. As long as you read 25 by the end of 2010, you are a winner.)

3. Audio, Re-reads, eBooks, YA, Young Reader – any book as long as it is checked out from the library count. Checked out like with a library card, not purchased at a library sale.

4. No need to list your books in advance. You may select books as you go. Even if you list them now, you can change the list if needed.

5. Crossovers from other reading challenges count.

6. Challenge begins January 1st thru December, 2010.

This is one time when SUPER SIZE ME is a great choice!

My house attracts stuff and more stuff...where does all the stuff come from?

My daughter attends preschool at our local Waldorf School. It is a place filled with magic and natural beauty and natural toys. The aesthetics are serene and peaceful and beautiful and there is a sense of just enough. I love it as does she. Since she has been there, these past few months, I am attempting to bring that some sense of everything I love in her school to our home. Today while she was at school and my husband was making homemade pasta sauce, I went through her room to do another round of decluttering. I took a lot of stuffed animals out and books. Some will be stored to rotate in while rotating other toys out; some books will come back out during Halloween and spring; some just is sitting in my trunk to be sent to Goodwill tomorrow. I also placed two end tables in our garage; I have no idea yet what to do with these. I still look around her room and see areas that need space and nothingness and yet could be used to make play areas.

The more I take out, the more I find. The more I find, the more I wonder where does all this stuff come from? I really am not attracted to stuff anymore and yet my house seems to keep it and draw more in like some sort of cosmic stuff attracting black hole. It bewilders me. I have a mental list of what is important to me and this list guides what I want to keep and what I don't.

Important stuff:
travel
knitting
reading
writing
being with family
cooking and sharing food with family and friends

It's a simple list. It isn't very long. Why then does my house have so much stuff? And who brought it here?

Be scared for a cause

My DH is a HUGE Halloween fiend. We have large amounts of Halloween props stored under our house with which my hubby makes our house look spookier and spookier every year. He has always loved Halloween. Our first Halloween together was fairly simple. He wore a spooky mask, opened the door, and scared the kids with a loud Boo or What do you want? while wearing a creepy looking mask. Every year on the first of November, he leaves the house very early and goes to all the Halloween stores and buys props for next year's Halloween at huge discounted prices. He has done this each year since we've been together (almost nine years now) and needless to say, we have A LOT of Halloween props under our house in our storage area.


I have fun participating and helping him scare kids. I have more fun visiting with our friends who help and getting them snacks and drinks while staying warm inside. I most of all love listening to my husband scaring the kids and then them all laughing. He is a HUGE kid this time of year and it is fun to watch.

Something shifted in me this year, though. It is a big shift. It really dawned on me this year that I don't want us to spend so much money on all of this stuff (most of it, unfortunately, made in China, which bugs us both) to just have it up for one day of the year. Getting all of the stuff out is a hassle for my husband, putting it all out in time for trick or treaters stresses him out, and then the clean up takes a long time. All this time, I lose space in my garage and my front lawn looks even messier than usual.

But my husband loves it. I mean really loves it. It's his Christmas and I cannot take that away from him. But because I want us buying less stuff and really focusing on the important non material stuff in life, I had to say something. Then it really dawned on me. It would be okay, but it must serve a larger purpose than mainly entertaining my hubby, our friends, and the neighborhood. It must do good somehow, it must serve a cause. I told hubby this yesterday and he was completely okay with it and ran with our idea.

This year we have set up a small barrel and a sign from the Thurston County foodbank. We have sent a small announcement to the on line version of the local paper and will tell everyone we know. Come see our house, come be scared, come do it all for a cause. Bring donations to the local food bank. I am so excited how my husband got this all in action for me just after a brief conversation yesterday. HUGE KUDOS to him! I am so proud. He can have his super fun Halloween experience. We can make a difference in our local community. It is all good.

Come be scared for a good cause! Happy Halloween everyone! Keep safe. Be warm. Have fun. Help your community.

Knit, paint, knit, paint, I am an addict

My daughter goes to our local Waldorf School three mornings a week at their new preschool. She loves it and the sense of community she is joining and I am joining is sheer bliss. I am so happy we decided to send her there, despite the amount of money it is costing us. It is helping me to see how simply she can live and we can live and live a more fulfilling and rich life. Their world is natural and her school grounds her and I am feeling those effects as strongly as she is.

I recently re-took up knitting. I know the very very basics. I am learning again and am challenging myself to further my skills so that I can knit more than my practice squares or a long rectangle that I can call a scarf. Em's new scarf will have a pocket, which she is quite excited about and has decided it should be green and on the left. I'm not sure she has realized quite how scarves work and that they don't have true sides. I am excited that I can sit with her and knit. I can knit at the library or like last night, while we were waiting for our food and her daddy was telling her silly made up stories about our kitties exciting adventures scuba diving and collecting golf balls. What excites me the most is that this is natural and something that women have done for centuries. It is grounding for me. It is simplicity perfected and I love it and am becoming an addict. We are going to Victoria, B.C. next weekend and instead of silly souvenirs that take up space I don't have and collect dust that I don't dust away well, I am going to a yarn shop for wool! I am so excited!

My other new addiction is painting. I have the front hallway just about all ready to paint. I have the color, I have the desire, I have the overwhelming urge to leap from this table and paint paint paint. I cannot wait to see the color on my walls and see my house becoming a home that is light and warm and beautiful. All that is holding me up is finding the paint brushes and rollers after my husband comes home from work tomorrow. I have shown Em the swatches and she is so excited to see the paint on the walls. What I love about this is when it is done I don't plan to put things back on the wall. Em made a comment several weeks ago that I had too many pictures on my bedroom wall. I agree with her. So I am going to slowly take down pictures and only put up one or two that are natural in color-leaves, pumpkins, sunflowers, oceans, trails in the woods. One picture is worth a thousand words. I don't need lots and lots to confuse me under a myriad of several thousand words enveloping my already busy brain.

Paint, paint, knit, knit. My home is slowly coming to fruition. It will ground us as a family and show us what true happiness is when you can look into the beauty of a newly painted wall without any further adornment while wrapping yourself up in a newly knitted warm cozy pocket scarf. Pics of the finished projects to come next week.