Several days later at Sleepy Cottage

I have been trying to see my house in the light of the fact it will be paid off in less than four years. This strange new idea comes at my brain and heart in a myriad of ways, good and bad. First in order for my husband and I to accomplish this feat, we will be taking all of my available retirement account and cashing it in. I still have part of it for when I truly "retire" but a huge chunk will be used to pay down the principal of the house. This scares me. I wish I could say otherwise, but it scares me. I have no liquid assets that are just mine, no money, no job. I have been a stay at home mother for almost three and a half years since a week before Em was born. What if my husband and I go our separate ways? I have no money of my own. I wish I didn't harbor any of these thoughts, but they push their way through my brain. Nothing rational, no reasoning behind the thoughts. They just scramble around and arrive without any invitation.

On the flip side of this, we will own our house in less than four years. My daughter will not even be eight years old and will live in a house that is truly owned by her parents. Her home will be secure. That is an amazing feeling and I am so excited about that. But also, we will own this house THIS HOUSE that sometimes drives me crazy! It needs a new roof, a new paintjob, better lighting, a completely new master bathroom due to an ugly mold problem due to shoddy workmanship. Do I really want to own this house? But then I think of what DH said...we can finally afford to fix things. True, no house payment would mean more spare cash for repair and renovation.

All in all this is a good decision. My daughter was made in this house; she has lived here her whole life. I was proposed to in this house. We plan our future here; we disagree here; we make up here; we dream here; WE LIVE HERE. Sleepy Cottage has given me food for thought as usual. Yes I will be glad to own this house fully. Amazing how four walls can change your life.